Why Flash Doesn’t Win Hearts (or Customers)

Valentine’s Day has a way of surfacing those quiet love stories that don’t quite make sense on paper.

You’ve seen them. A beautiful woman with a guy who seems, at least at first glance, kind of average. Not in a judgmental way. Just one of those small human puzzles that makes you wonder what you’re missing.

Picture a neighborhood gas station.

She works behind the counter. Friendly. Consistent. The kind of person who remembers regulars. Two men come in all the time.

One pulls up in a shiny Jaguar. Perfect hair. Designer jacket. Confidence turned up to eleven. Every visit follows the same script: big smile, direct eye contact, a bold compliment, a quick ask for her number. In and out. Flashy. Fast.

The other guy parks his Kia Sportage and walks in like he just got off work. Plain clothes. No performance. He buys his coffee, asks how her day’s going, waits his turn, and leaves. He does this again the next week. And the week after that. Same energy every time. Polite. Present. Human.

Months go by. Flash Guy keeps making his move. Everyday Guy keeps showing up.

One builds cringe. The other builds rapport, not because he’s more impressive, but because he’s familiar.

That’s the part people miss. Flash tries to win attention in one moment. Familiarity earns trust over time. And that same dynamic plays out every day in business.

Social Psychologist Robert Zajonc,

Psychologists have a name for this: the Mere Exposure Effect. It was identified by social psychologist Robert Zajonc, who found that people tend to develop a preference for things simply because they’re familiar with them. No persuasion required. No hard sell. Just repeated, low-pressure exposure over time. In other words, we don’t usually choose what’s most impressive. We choose what feels known.

You see it first at the dinner table. A child pushes broccoli around their plate. They don’t want it. Mom encourages one bite. The next night, it shows up again. And again. At first it’s resisted. Somewhere along the way, without much fanfare, it becomes normal. Sometimes it even becomes a favorite.

That’s exposure becoming familiarity. Marketing works the same way. It’s the radio commercial you hear on your commute and the billboard you pass on the same stretch of highway. It’s the business name that keeps showing up in familiar places, week after week. At first, it barely registers. Then you start to recognize it. Somewhere after that, it feels familiar enough to trust. That’s when action shows up. This is where many businesses get discouraged. They run one ad, buy one billboard, or air a short radio campaign, then decide marketing “doesn’t work.” But mere exposure says you didn’t fail. You just stopped before familiarity had time to form.

Consistency isn’t noise. It’s trust in slow motion.

You’ll often hear that it takes “seven touches” before someone decides to buy.

That idea, commonly called the Rule of 7, didn’t come from a single scientific study. It’s an old advertising guideline that grew out of industry experience over time. Think of it less as a rule and more as a reminder: people rarely act on first contact. Sometimes it’s three exposures. Sometimes it’s twenty. It depends on timing, competition, emotion, and context. A plumber is different from a pizza place. A car dealership is different from a local nonprofit. The number shifts, but the principle stays the same.

On the food side, developmental research shows something similar. Children are often introduced to a new food multiple times before acceptance increases. Even that isn’t a guarantee. Some kids warm up quickly. Some take longer. Some never love broccoli.

The point isn’t the number. The point is repetition without pressure. People don’t usually decide the first time they see you. Familiarity takes time. Trust takes repetition. Consistency gives relationships room to form.

So when a business runs one campaign and quits, it isn’t evidence that marketing failed. It’s usually evidence that familiarity never had a chance to grow.

Of course, there’s a line, and it matters.

Mere exposure works when it feels natural: showing up regularly, being helpful, staying human. It fails when it turns into pressure or intrusion. The goal isn’t to corner people. It’s to be present when they’re ready.

Just like at the gas station. Flash goes for the shortcut. Familiarity plays the long game.

Mere exposure doesn’t just apply to marketing. It shows up in relationships too.

Whether you’re building a business or looking for a partner, the pattern is the same. People rarely connect with something the first time they see it. They connect after it feels familiar. After it shows up consistently. After it proves, quietly, that it isn’t going anywhere.

You don’t sell a product in one moment. You earn trust over time.

And you don’t win someone’s heart with flash. You earn it by showing up.

If you want your business to grow the same way relationships do, slowly, naturally, and built on trust, that’s exactly what we help create at Woodruff Media. We focus on steady visibility, clear messaging, and long-term presence so your brand becomes familiar before it ever needs to be convincing. Because people don’t buy in a moment. They decide over time.

And in marketing, just like in life, the long game usually wins. LEARN MORE

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Written with AI assistance based on the author’s ideas, experience, and editorial direction.

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