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Advice: You Named Your Kid What?!

Updated: Dec 20, 2023

On average July and August hospitals see an influx of childbirths. If your family is about to gain a new member, one thing is at the top of the list..naming the child.

Here are some things to consider before making a decision that will affect your blessing for the rest of their life.

Avoid Mediocrity

Carrying on a family name is a noble idea but it's also the most mediocre things parents can do, especially for sons. While naming your firstborn after his father might seem appealing, consider the logistics. Will both be addressed by the same name? Will a nickname emerge (calling him "Junior" indefinitely)? Do you expect your son to live up to his namesake?, or worse, What if Dad becomes a real jerk and you get divorced? According to the Social Security Administration, "Michael was a top boys' name between 1954 and 1998, while Mary was a top girls' name between 1923 and 1961." Our country has enough of these names; let's diversify a bit.

Avoid Stupid Spellings

While common names like Erica have various spellings worldwide, parents should avoid contributing to confusion by outright misspelling it. Imagine a lifetime of correcting people or never finding a keychain with your spelling. The struggle is real.

Avoid the Bible

In addition to mediocrity, selecting a name from the Bible can be problematic. While David and Paul are great boy names, Onan, Dodo, and Esau should be avoided. For girls, names like Ruth or Martha are great, but steer clear of Eve, Dinah, and Jael. Please, for the love of all that is holy, avoid Delilah! Yes, it means "delicate" in Hebrew, but in the Bible, Delilah uses sex to learn the secret of Samson's strength and betrays him to his enemies who then pluck out his eyes. Do you really want your daughter to have that legacy?

Avoid the Calendar

Though unique, naming your daughter May, April, Wednesday, Summer, Autumn, or Christmas is too predictable, especially when their birthday falls within these timeframes. Now, sing with me, 🎵 "It's gonna be Maaaaay!" 🎵

Avoid The Celebrity

In 2004, a young man soared to music stardom, adding an obscure name to America's top 1000 boys' names. By 2005, the name Kanye, previously at #486, swiftly dropped to #893. Over the years, Kanye West's behavior has become annoying to many. The moral: Avoid naming your child after living celebrities; you can't control their actions! Wait until they pass; even then, is Elvis truly a good name?

Avoid the Historical

You might be tempted to name your child after someone from elementary school history, like Martin (Luther King Jr.), Thomas (Jefferson), or Christopher (Columbus), evoking pride. However, as mentioned earlier, humans are flawed. Before naming your child "Woodrow Wilson," ensure you do a Google search; you might discover that your favorite historical person has a dark side.

Avoid Plays On Words

Parents get creative, sometimes opting for names like "Iona Lake" or naming fraternal twins "Jack and Jill." While these can be humorous, remember you're not Bart Simpson prank calling Moe's.

Food For Thought

In the United States, we have the freedom to express ourselves, including how we name our child. However, parents must take care not to cause their precious addition any undue harm. Simply saying, "they can change it when they grow up" is not the right answer.


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